Wednesday, March 10, 2010

who should be parents?

when i was young, my parents told me:
it is not difficult to get parents but to be parents...
at my childhood i had sometimes wish, that my parents should be rich so that we have a nice and comfortable life instead to suffer and helping my parents to making home works beside the school, so that we had enough income to exist.
i wished to get jeans instead the knickerbockers pants, wish to have a Tinkietoy cars like my neighbor friend and mostly, to have my own room instead to slip with my brother in the living room couch...
as teenager i had no plan to get married, want just to be independent and travel around the world..
i was travel 3 times to asia, twice with my vw-bus overland from europe to india and nepal, once with public services, airplane, ship, buses and that has changed my life.
i have study again social work and so i had now the wish to have a own family, so i have also married and had my own family with a adopted and a own son...
true my work in homes i have see many broken family's and was hoping,that i make it better...
after 23 years i struggled down and now I'm divorced
so i ask my self now after all, how should be parents?
is there a recipe for it, like when you will cook a meal....??
i don't think so, i believe it is hanging on how the couples deal in there partnership with eachother as a UNITY...
we learn in school mathematic, science, sport..
we learn how to read and to write...
we have to remember a lot of dates and phrases...
we have to follow the rules of the society and the religion groups in which we are a member...
but we don't learn really how to handle with each other...
we make our parents guilty when we struggle and make mistakes...
need it as an excuse, instead to ask us self which was our part in the story...
sometimes i think that the parents roll which we want it has to be is impossible to rich...
so one time again my question: HOW SHOULD BE PARENTS ?
i don't know if there exist an ideal parents in this world...
but i believe that most of the parents try to make a good job...
we have to accept that also parents has a right to make mistakes and are not perfect as we want and wish...
may it need it even, because out of mistakes we learn and can show also our kids a way how to handle with...
when i hear parents say, that there kids should have a better life than them so is that already totaly wrong, we need to teach and advise our kids to find solutions in there life which will be filled with unexpected things and we can just come over them when we learn how to deal with them or how to play this game of life so that we struggle lesser...
we as parents can't put always away for our kids there problems, but it is our responsibility to learn and teach them the way that they can find self a solution for there problems...
but for all of that it needs that the parents show there kids that they are an unity and that they pack there problems together and search also for a solution together...
if we instead be united just criticise each other all the time and specially in front of our kids because of the reason to get them on our side in this fight, we loose already...
as parents and also as human being

No comments: